Our First Date

Take a deep breath...this is my first ever blog post. I never saw myself as a 'blogger'. As a matter of fact, I never saw myself as a neonatal hospitalist either and here I am. If I am being really honest, I never saw myself as a pediatrician. Not even when I couldn't think of anything else i'd rather be doing with my life. I fought it tooth and nail because I had never pictured myself as someone who put Disney stickers on my nametag or called my patients Pumpkinhead or took off my shoe and pretended it was a telephone. Hmmm, years later and I am still learning that the grand plan in my head is not necessarily where my heart will lead me. But I digress.

Let's start with the basics. I am a neonatal hospitalist working in the Level III NICU of an academically slanted community hospital in Chicago. Yes, it's a mouthful. Most of the time when I tell people my title I get the slightly open mouth head tilted back "Ohhhh". And then silence. If I am surrounded by other physicians I get asked if I am in fact a neonatologist. The answer is no. The next question is if I am a neonatal fellow. Not exactly. I am a board certified pediatrician who cares for neonates unfortunate enough to find themselves in need of intensive care. There are a small but mighty number of us who work in NICUs of all levels. Some work alongside neonatologists to relieve some of the patient load, often taking on the "feeders and growers". Some cover mostly normal newborns and sicker near term babies with the back-up of a neonatologist. Some preside over a team of residents and act much like a fellow would in order to ease the workload of residents and provide some continuity of care in the "duty hour limit" era. Some take overnight and weekend call with neonatologist back-up by phone to provide 24 hour physician coverage in the NICU. I am part of this last group. A level III NICU as defined by the American Academy of Pediatrics is "a hospital neonatal intensive care unit organized with personnel and equipment to provide continuous life support and comprehensive care for extremely high-risk newborn infants and those with complex and critical illness." Our NICU can provide comprehensive care to extremely premature infants (less than 28 weeks), advanced respiratory care, advanced imaging, and access to various subspecialties. In essence, I spend my nights and weekends at work in a perpetual state of catecholamine release, kicking myself for not paying closer attention during my residency NICU rotations. That said, after almost 1 year in this position, I find myself with a newfound confidence and a tentative peace in knowing that I am right where i'm supposed to be.