Even Uncle Sam Wonders When You're Getting Married

I've been married for a year and a half. I told a friend this weekend that I feel more passionate about my husband now than I did 2 years ago. And I plan to feel even stronger 2 years from now. Yes, I plan that sort of thing. You know the saying "Failing to plan is planning to fail"? I might as well have that tattoed on my arm. Where did I learn how to be married? I don't remember ever hearing about marriage in school. My pediatrician certainly never brought up the topic of marriage during my yearly well child checks, even as an adolescent. So where do children learn how to be successful married people as adults? The popular vote would be that we simply learn by watching our parents. But what if our parents are divorced? Are we simply doomed then to be unsuccessful at marriage ourselves? It seems to me, as a pediatrician concerned about the future wellbeing of the children for whom I care, that I should be imparting some sort of guidance on thriving in a happy marriage. But does it even matter? As it turns out, it does.

Research has found that children raised by parents in healthy marriages have certain benefits not seen in those from unhealthy marriages. Those benefits include the following:

More likely to attend college
More likely to succeed academically
Physically healthier
Emotionally healthier
Less likely to attempt or commit suicide
Demonstrate less behavioral problems in school
Less likely to be a victim of physical or sexual abuse
Less likely to abuse drugs or alcohol
Less likely to commit delinquent behaviors
Have a better relationship with their mothers and fathers
Decreases their chances of divorcing when they get married
Less likely to become pregnant as a teenager, or impregnate someone.
Less likely to be sexually active as teenagers
Less likely to contract STD's
Less likely to be raised in poverty

A healthy marriage benefits society as a whole too. Consider this. The Deficit Reduction Act of 2005 provides funding of $150 million per year for healthy marriage promotion. Healthy marriage promotion awards must be used for eight specified activities, including marriage education, marriage skills training, public advertising campaigns, high school education on the value of marriage and marriage mentoring programs. I've seen this campaign in action in the form of posters on the bus that read "He's not always Prince Charming, but he'll always be your prince" under a picture of a man yawning in a woman's ear while spooning in bed. Sweet. I've often wondered about the point of that poster. Now I know.

For more information, check out the Healthy Marriage Initiative on the Administration for Children and Families section of the Health and Human Services website.