Not So Lonely Only

I've done lots of important things lately. Let's see....I've moved to a new state, bought a house, bought a car, bought a lawnmower, am starting a new job, reached advanced maternal age, and made pancakes with beer in them. Did I mention I moved to Wisconsin? See, now the pancakes with beer thing makes sense.

With all these big changes, what do you think is next on everyone's mind? I'll give you a hint. It starts with b and rhymes with maybe. Dang people, give me a break. I'm crossing things off the checklist o' life as fast as I can. So I started thinking...when is the perfect time? My husband has an advanced degree and is moving forward in the academic science world. I am starting a new career as an academic pediatric hospitalist. There's no downtime in the near future for us. And by near future I mean 10 years. We've looked at each other various times and said "we want to have kids right?" and the answer has always been "yes, but not right now." Both of us have career goals we have yet to meet and are looking forward to reaching those goals. I personally love what I do and can't imagine not being a pediatrician. It has become an indelible part of who I am and I won't apologize for that. Ever. So how do we fit a family into that mix?

Fortuitously, as i've been struggling with this question, there appeared on the cover of Time magazine an article about the trend towards stopping at one child. The article focused on couples' reasons for stopping at one and the debunking of the myth that only children are maladjusted, social misfits who are selfish and secretly long to fill the hole left by the lack of siblings. Until I read this article, I didn't realize how much my personal bias against only children was a product of this very myth. Having one child makes sense to me. Economically, personally, intellectually, it is a compromise and a way I can wrap my head around the concept of having a family and the career and life that I currently love. I wonder, how different would it feel to know that this pregnancy would be your only pregnancy and this sleepless infant stage would be the only one you would go through? Would you complain less and enjoy more? Would you wake each day with anticipation of the milestones knowing that your experience would be limited to this one child? Just food for thought. I'll be chewing for awhile...