Niche is a four letter word

Here's an honest to goodness conversation that just took place between my husband and I.

Me: I'm feeling inadequate today.

Him: Why?

Me: Because I went to our division meeting today and everyone seems really really smart. Much smarter than I am.

Him: Well, they have more experience than you. I'm sure they think you are smart too.

Me: No, I don't have much to contribute during the meetings. Also, everyone has their niche that they are working on. You know, one person is doing global health, another is palliative care, another is family centered rounds. I don't have a niche yet. And what's worse is that I don't know how to get one! I don't have one singular passion to focus on. What if I can't figure out my niche and I just languish here in this job and I never get promoted?? I need to start being productive and adding to my professional portfolio!!

Him: Ummmm, you've only been there a month.

Me: So?

Him: So, you've only been there a month.

This conversation is what happens when a perfectionist like myself lets a little insecurity take charge of my brain and graffiti it with the word "should". I "should" be more productive. I "should" be uber-accomplished. I "should" be a rock star. I am reminding myself (with you as my witness) that it is ok to get settled into a new job for the first several months. It is ok to be inexperienced and still learning. It is ok to not be perfect. It is ok to take a breath and relax. It is ok to just be. Just be.