When One Door Shuts, Keep Knocking

Recently, I didn't get a travel grant I applied for to attend a conference this summer in DC. I thought I had a good chance and sent in a fine application but there was someone out there with a better one. I told my husband how disappointed I was and he said "But you've gotten everything else you've ever applied for." Not true. Totally not true. There were at least two jobs that I really wanted in Chicago after I left my fellowship that I didn't get hired for. While I was job hunting this last time around, I learned I didn't get a job that I thought I was perfect for. A good friend of mine has since been hired for that very position. When I first joined the AAP, I ran for a position on the executive committee and didn't get the votes. In 6th grade, I ran for Treasurer. I still remember the posters I made with fake money all over them. I didn't get elected. A 7th grader was chosen over me. As a freshman in high school, I tried out for the cheer squad. Despite spending hours in my backyard practicing a dance to "Rhythm Nation" by Janet Jackson, I didn't make it past the first cut. In medical school, I waited for years for a certain person to love me as much as I wanted him to. Didn't happen.

Reflecting on all of these past 'rejections', I came to realize that the reason I keep 'applying' for things is that every denial I've experienced has led to something better. I love my job that I have here in Madison. It's exactly what I wanted and will open more doors than I can count. I have been given the opportunity to write this blog for the AAP and held plenty of other positions within the Academy since losing that election. Those 'failures' in junior high and high school? They've made me essentially unafraid of sticking my neck out publicly. And the many failed relationships in my past? I thank my lucky stars for my husband every day (some days more than others!).

So this most recent failure, if you can even call it that, is not really the end of something for me. In fact, it was the nicest rejection that I've ever received, complete with suggestions of other conferences/courses that would suit my goals and the name of a contact person who could help me reach them. You see, multiple doors are open and it is up to me to keep moving forward. But I won't stop knocking on those doors that appear shut because you just never know.