Welcome to My Thursday Night

Here's what I'm up to tonight:

Real Housewives of New York City

A Skinnygirl margarita

Pedicure

Cake batter ice cream with crushed Oreos and peanut butter

Yes, this is my antidote to a rough week. Oh, and I'm taking a personal day tomorrow. I won't go into the gory details but suffice to say I wrote a few of my trademark "fussy emails". My good friend in residency coined the term and used it to describe indignant emails we would write when it seemed like the last resort and our frustration had reached a critical mass. Sometimes we sent them, sometimes we didn't. This week, I hit the send button after every email I wrote. Email can be dangerous. It allows you to say (write) whatever you feel at the time without having to see anyone's facial expression or having to look them in the eye. It is so easy to hit the send button. I don't regret any of the emails I sent this week. I always try to edit myself and send only what I would be comfortable saying. And I always double check that I haven't accidentally hit "reply all".

A few things happened this week that ended up being the proverbial straw that broke the camel's back and I was fed up. I channeled my emotions into emails and sent them to people I thought could help me fix the situation. Was there some fallout? Well, yes, I did have more than one person come into my office to "chat" but I do believe that good things will come to those who....fuss. I've talked before about being authentic and owning up to who you are. That's what I did this week.

In residency, an attending told me that I had an overdeveloped sense of justice. At the time I thought it must be something that I should correct or hide. As I get older, I've accepted that I have a passion for fixing things that I perceive as wrong, less than ideal, or yes, unjust. I will accept this, own it, and channel it to improve my situation and help others who may not have the confidence to speak up for themselves. If things don't go well, I can always fall back on cake batter ice cream and margaritas. Nothing wrong with that.