Check Yourself Before You Wreck Yourself

Let's talk about integrity for a minute. What is your definition of integrity? I dug myself into a small hole yesterday when I said that someone (who shall remain nameless) did not have integrity. The person I said it to immediately zeroed in and said "That's a pretty strong statement. Do you really feel that way?". I stammered and rambled but hopefully didn't look like a complete idiot trying to defend myself. When I replayed the conversation to my husband he also made the face that says "Ohhh, did you really say that?!". You know the face I'm talking about...eyes wide, eyebrows raised, air being sucked through teeth. Yes, that face. A coworker and I were talking about it today and she said "You said he didn't have integrity. That's a pretty strong thing to say!". Yikes. Am I the only person on the planet who didn't know that was the most awful accusation I could possibly make?? I was only speaking what I really felt was the truth. So what did I do? I researched the definition of integrity just to make sure I had it right. I was fully prepared to apologize if I indeed misspoke.

Integrity: noun Adherence to moral and ethical principles; soundness of moral character; honesty; the state of being whole, entire, or undiminished.

When I read that, I take it to mean that one with integrity is one who lives their values in a recognizable fashion. You will be able to see what a person stands for because they live it everyday. They walk the talk. They show their go. They vote with their feet. And every other cliche that you can think of that means that someone backs up their words with their actions. At its most basic connotation, integrity is to be whole. There is a seamless transition from values (inside) to actions (outside). There is no separation.

Did I mean it when I said this person had no integrity based on the definition and my experience with this person? Absolutely. Do I wish I could turn back time and not have said it out loud? You bet. I can't help but wonder what impression I made on the people listening. Although I value honesty, I also value discretion and respect, especially in the professional arena. I did not necessarily act with integrity, because I was not fully acting in congruence with my values. Learn from my mistake: take the time to think before you make a bold statement, even if it's the absolute truth.