Friday, April 6, 2012

Boarding the Train to Mommyville

Yes it's true. I boarded this train at Christmastime and thankfully, am still riding. I'll arrive at my destination, Mommyville, sometime in late August. And waiting for me will be a perfect baby boy! It's been a fascinating ride so far and I've realized that everyone on board with me is experiencing the journey just a bit differently. Despite that, there is a sense of connectedness with this new culture. Many of the fears I have (am I gaining too much weight??) are shared by many. I'm not alone in my neuroses. Many of those who've already reached their destination have given me some helpful advice and also some strange things to look forward to. One of my friends told me she's obsessed with breastfeeding so if I have any questions, just ask her. In fact, her husband jokes that there are now four people in their family: the 2 of them, their infant son, and her breasts. Hmmmm, ok.

When referring to adjusting to a newborn, people including my husband, like to say "oh you will probably think it's easy since you're a pediatrician". Ummm, I take care of sick children. With a cadre of nurses and residents to help me. I don't know how long after you drink you have to dump your breastmilk. I don't know if you can put chapstick on a baby's lips. I don't know whether it's better to use a crib, pack 'n play, bassinet, Moses bed, or cosleeper in the first few months of life. Give me a baby with pertussis, I feel comfortable telling you what to do. A healthy baby of my own? No clue.

We've been practicing our parenting skills on our dog Swayze lately. She's run into some discipline problems and we're troubleshooting what we have done to cause her such angst. In the past month, she's eaten a frozen Lean Cuisine pizza, a loaf of sourdough bread, a bottle of ibuprofen and a tupperware container. This is in addition to the 1/2 pound of grass she eats on every walk we go on. She's begun howling at Jeff when he gets home if he pays attention to me first (as well he should) and if we don't show sufficient excitement at seeing her when we arrive home. If we are sitting together on the couch and watching TV, she'll position herself right in front of us and stare. It gets really uncomfortable. Does she sense that her position as dad's favorite child is about to be overthrown? Does she need more attention? Does she need less attention? We've decided to experiment with ignoring her for a period of time after we get home and only showing her attention when she's quiet. We are fully aware that this might backfire and we'll wake up with a dead rabbit in our kitchen one of these days. But we're willing to give it a try. Isn't that what parenting is all about? Trial and error? What works for one will epically fail for another? We've got about 4 and a half months to figure this out...