Why I Love My Job: Reason #35

I called my first code today since I've been in Madison. When I worked in the NICU codes were a monthly event. But here, I've been relatively unscathed by the heart-thumping "oh crap this kid's going to die unless I do something" scenario. Until this morning. My patient is 2 months old and I have spent the last week stretching the limits of my brain trying to figure out what is wrong with her. Her parents, young and oh-so-trusting, have put their faith in me day after day. And day after day I go into that room and explain that we don't know what is wrong and that the tests we ran did not help explain what is happening with her. This morning I was at her crib listening to the resident explain to the parents yet again the plan for the day, the plan to continue our testing and investigation. Then, she decided to quit breathing and turn blue in a matter of seconds. And in a matter of seconds I was back in the NICU, calmly asking for the bag and mask, asking the nurse to please call a code, asking the resident to listen for a heartbeat, all the while reassuring the parents that we had this all under control. And they looked at me with complete trust. She recovered and I transferred her to the ICU. I went to check on her this afternoon and to see how those parents were holding up. And you know what? Despite being hooked up to a ventilator and under the care of excellent critical care physicians and nurses, those parents wanted to know what I thought was going on and what I thought should be done. They told me all the things the ICU doctors had suggested and they wanted to know my opinion. In spite of everything that had happened, they still thought of me as their doctor and they still trusted me. Even though I had spent the day doubting myself and my abilities, they never stopped. I can't express in words how much that meant to me. For some, a day like today might make them question their choice of medicine or pediatrics as a career. For me, I question how I ever thought I could do anything else.

No Pain No Gain

We're living on borrowed time here. My internet has decided to cut out after about 8 minutes of web-time and it won't come back unless I restart my computer. Calling AT&T is on my list of things to do along with experimenting with shortening (I've always been a real butter girl)...and only one of these things is getting done tonight. Bear with me if this is short and disjointed.

I threw my first holiday dinner party over the weekend. It was a relatively safe foray into the holiday entertaining world but a challenge nonetheless. My husband criticizes me for being a food snob but honestly I just think things are better when homemade. Don't you agree? I did second guess this sentiment after spending 9 hours running around my kitchen, burning out my KitchenAid stand mixer and frightening my dog Swayze. But in the end, it was so worth it. Here's the menu:

Spice rubbed pork tenderloin

Mashed sweet potatoes

Roasted brussels sprouts and pancetta

Glazed carrots and thyme

Cornmeal buttermilk biscuits

Maple brown butter semifreddo

Guests were sent home with double chocolate biscotti, apricot cranberry granola and honey vanilla marshmallows. This is why I haven't had time to blog. Or call AT&T. Happy Holidays.