I called my first code today since I've been in Madison. When I worked in the NICU codes were a monthly event. But here, I've been relatively unscathed by the heart-thumping "oh crap this kid's going to die unless I do something" scenario. Until this morning. My patient is 2 months old and I have spent the last week stretching the limits of my brain trying to figure out what is wrong with her. Her parents, young and oh-so-trusting, have put their faith in me day after day. And day after day I go into that room and explain that we don't know what is wrong and that the tests we ran did not help explain what is happening with her. This morning I was at her crib listening to the resident explain to the parents yet again the plan for the day, the plan to continue our testing and investigation. Then, she decided to quit breathing and turn blue in a matter of seconds. And in a matter of seconds I was back in the NICU, calmly asking for the bag and mask, asking the nurse to please call a code, asking the resident to listen for a heartbeat, all the while reassuring the parents that we had this all under control. And they looked at me with complete trust. She recovered and I transferred her to the ICU. I went to check on her this afternoon and to see how those parents were holding up. And you know what? Despite being hooked up to a ventilator and under the care of excellent critical care physicians and nurses, those parents wanted to know what I thought was going on and what I thought should be done. They told me all the things the ICU doctors had suggested and they wanted to know my opinion. In spite of everything that had happened, they still thought of me as their doctor and they still trusted me. Even though I had spent the day doubting myself and my abilities, they never stopped. I can't express in words how much that meant to me. For some, a day like today might make them question their choice of medicine or pediatrics as a career. For me, I question how I ever thought I could do anything else.
It's great to hear you love your job! Being a pediatrician is both rewarding and humbling because you spend every day of your life with these kids. You've done everything you can with the baby, and she made it. I believe her parents trusted you because you have the ability to do the job! And you proved them right!
ReplyDeleteMadlenka Lamon
Oh, your passion for child care is so admirable! No wonder they trusted you so much with their baby’s life. The fact that she made it makes you worthy of your profession. You are born to be a pediatrician, and I’m sure you’re going to help a lot more kids in the future. =)
ReplyDeleteChalice Lindgren
I heard people say that for doctors to be trusted by their patients, they need not accolades or double degrees. What they need to gain their patients’ trust and confidence is heart. Showing them that you really care and that you intend to do everything to help them will put them at ease and regard you as the most reliable doctor they'd ever had.
ReplyDeleteOskar Aarden
I so agree with you, Madlenka. I think the ultimate key is to love your job, and everything else will follow. Kids need a lot of attention and understanding, and I commend you for doing your duty excellently. Keep it up, Angela! =)
ReplyDeleteMalachi Cates