How the Other Half Live

Here's what I've been up to.....holding the cutest damn baby for hours on end and loving it! That baby happens to be my new niece. People who know me well are surprised that I am so head over heels about this baby because, despite being a pediatrician, I've never been a "kid person". I dislike chaos and sticky hands and saliva. It's no secret. But I can stare at that little face for hours (and I did!) and be endlessly entertained.

As luck would have it, she developed hyperbilirubinemia on day 3 of life and was admitted to the hospital for phototherapy. I went with them to the hospital and for once was not in control of the admission because I was on the other side of the process. It was a weird feeling to just sit in the room and not recite her history and physical for the residents and let them know what the plan was. I am not a laid back person and believe me when I say it took a lot of effort to stay in the background so as not to embarrass my sister and be that obnoxious family member we physicians are all so familiar with. You know, the one who makes us whisper "A little bit of knowledge is a bad thing" and roll our eyes when we find out one of our patient's parents is a physician.

However, I did learn some things that I will take with me back to the wards.

1. When a large group of 'medical people' walk into the room of anxious, sleep deprived parents it can seem a little like being in front of a jury arguing for your life while trying to do your taxes at the same time. Not at all fun and slightly terrifying.

2. Dividing and conquering, ie one person is examining the baby while another is asking the questions while another is entering orders while another is watching the cardiac monitor makes parents jumpy and unfocused. Don't try to distract them with detailed questions while handling the most precious vulnerable little responsibility they will ever have and love more than they could have imagined. It's just not nice.

3. Consider how every little decision you make will affect your patient AND their family. Putting a baby on a cardiac monitor for hours with no compelling reason to do so while the parents have to constantly hear the alarms (called alarms because they are alarming to those not used to them) and freak out that something is wrong when really the pulse ox isn't 'picking up' is unacceptable.

4. If the family is going to be stuck in the room waiting for something, anything, to happen and there is a delay, someone should come and update them AND apologize. I realize things move slowly in an academic center but when you are the one waiting it is very frustrating to be lost in the "waiting for the doctors to enter the orders" wasteland of time. Come on people, start the phototherapy already so we can be done with this and go home. Remember these are new, sleep deprived, anxious parents.

Do you know how often I've thought about these things when I've been the person on the other side of the curtain? I am ashamed to admit...almost never. That experience with my niece will make me a better doctor, I guarantee it. Just one of the many things she will teach me, i'm sure.