Only the First Checked Bag is Free

One of the best things about going on vacation is the opportunity to cast aside your everyday self and slip into a more adventurous "who cares nobody knows me here I'm on vacation" persona. During my travels in Europe, I truly lived in the moment. I ate when I was hungry, slept when I was tired, moved when I felt like moving, and lounged when I felt like lounging. It was incredibly freeing. I realized just how much baggage I carry around on a daily basis. I'm not talking about childhood traumas and emotional relationship "issues". I'm talking about the baggage that begins with the word "should". I should have known fellowship was not the right move for me. I should have more money saved for retirement right now. I should have worked harder at the gym this morning. I should have made that diagnosis. How many times a day do you say the word "should" to yourself? I would bet more than you realize.

I don't want the vacation me and the everyday me to be strangers anymore. I want them to take certain qualities from each other and blend to become the real me. Where do I start? Well, I want to practice saying what I really feel instead of being polite and nice and saying what I think people want to hear from me. I'm a pleaser with a guilty conscience and I will analyze a word or a glance or an unreturned phone call until I've created enough scenarios to make an entire "choose your own adventure" book. (remember those?) There is no shame in being your true self. When coming from a place of honesty, I have to believe that no matter how uncomfortable you feel, the result will be infinitely more rewarding. That's the first baggage I'm dropping, with you as my witness. I already feel a little bit lighter.

Don't Let the Door Hit Me On the Way Out

Hey, remember that vacation I mentioned taking soon? Well, the day is finally here. Vacation!! It finally feels like summer here in the midwest and we're heading out. Oh well, I have a few months ahead to enjoy the sticky humidity. And my big humidity hating hair too. Anyway, we are heading off to Europe for the next 10 days. I plan to forget about work, schedules, email, cell phones and practicing medicine. For the next 10 days, I'm just Angela. Not Dr Veesenmeyer. Not Angela F Veesenmeyer, MD, MPH. Not "my kid's doctor". Not "the hospitalist on call". Just me. I plan to come back refreshed, re-energized and recommitted to spending more time being "just me" and not who I think I should be. I'll see you on the other side of vacation!